I've so many thoughts and feelings about what you've written here that I'm starting to feel like it might be a whole post rather than a comment but the gist is that much of what you have written resonates very strongly with me but there are a couple of points which don't sit quite as well. I'm not convinced that your choices examples of 'cancel culture' are the best, as I'm not convinced that it is a genuine thing when applied to celebrities, who seem to mostly dust themselves down, peform an act of contrition and come back just as strong and often stronger aftewards. Or in the case of Rowling, garner themselves a new fan base as leader of whatever abhorrent corner of the internet their particular brand of hatred most appeals to.
So much more, but that last paragraph (which is almost word for word what I said in a podcast interview in summer 2021 and still what I beleive to be true) is where the gold is, except for one small caveat. I think these conversations absolutely must be had in offices. Most of us spend a huge amount of time at our places of work and as your experience shows, poor working relationships can destroy our sense of safety and wellbeing. Healthy relationships in all areas of life come from being able to have difficult conversations and although it can feel off limits when there are systems of hierarchy at play, we must begin to shift the culture so that people feel safe to do so. This is something that is big in my mind at the moment and I am likely to be writing more about in the next few weeks as I figure out how to navigate some tricky work situations. With your permission I will lin to this article when I do. (I will probably use a chunk of this comment to get me started!).
I'm pleased it struck a chord with you and please do feel free to link to my article. I'm really looking forward to reading your piece.
You make an interesting point about it not being the same for celebrities. I suppose the point I was trying to make by using those extreme examples of celebrities being cancelled (which has been widely reported on and might resonate with people) is that it's something in celebrity culture that has infiltrated our real life experiences. I don't agree at all with the comments that were made that led to their 'cancelling' but I think we can learn something by looking at the most extreme examples of cancel culture. It's an incredibly final reaction/response to something we don't like hearing and I think that's what we're seeing more of in our day to day lives.
And yes, I think you're right about workplaces. They absolutely should be places we can have those conversations but we're definitely not there yet, are we? At least not in my experience. I read something today about whether 'being the nice person at work can help or harm your career'... sadly, I think there are some work cultures where being 'nice' stunts your progression. The study (by Georgetown University) found that kind people came out top in certain categories. Those categories, though, in my opinion fall into the 'emotional labour' category. It's a leadership skill that is so often overlooked in workplaces. The categories where those kind people excelled, according to the study are 'being sought out for advice from colleagues', 'being perceived to be a leader' and 'overall job performance.' It's interesting, I think it's so dependent on the people at the top and the culture of the individual workplace.
This is all really interesting and much along the themes I intend to interegate further, although probably in a seperate piece. It's much what I'm grappling with and I feel like this conversation is helping to link some of my thoughts which I thought were seperate(ish) issues, but are infact deeply entwined. Do you happen to have a reference for that study?
Comments are interesting on Arthur's post also. Someone saying we should differentiate between 'nice' and 'kind'.... there's definitely a lot to explore! Looking forward to reading your interrogation into the subject x
I've so many thoughts and feelings about what you've written here that I'm starting to feel like it might be a whole post rather than a comment but the gist is that much of what you have written resonates very strongly with me but there are a couple of points which don't sit quite as well. I'm not convinced that your choices examples of 'cancel culture' are the best, as I'm not convinced that it is a genuine thing when applied to celebrities, who seem to mostly dust themselves down, peform an act of contrition and come back just as strong and often stronger aftewards. Or in the case of Rowling, garner themselves a new fan base as leader of whatever abhorrent corner of the internet their particular brand of hatred most appeals to.
So much more, but that last paragraph (which is almost word for word what I said in a podcast interview in summer 2021 and still what I beleive to be true) is where the gold is, except for one small caveat. I think these conversations absolutely must be had in offices. Most of us spend a huge amount of time at our places of work and as your experience shows, poor working relationships can destroy our sense of safety and wellbeing. Healthy relationships in all areas of life come from being able to have difficult conversations and although it can feel off limits when there are systems of hierarchy at play, we must begin to shift the culture so that people feel safe to do so. This is something that is big in my mind at the moment and I am likely to be writing more about in the next few weeks as I figure out how to navigate some tricky work situations. With your permission I will lin to this article when I do. (I will probably use a chunk of this comment to get me started!).
Hi Emma
I'm pleased it struck a chord with you and please do feel free to link to my article. I'm really looking forward to reading your piece.
You make an interesting point about it not being the same for celebrities. I suppose the point I was trying to make by using those extreme examples of celebrities being cancelled (which has been widely reported on and might resonate with people) is that it's something in celebrity culture that has infiltrated our real life experiences. I don't agree at all with the comments that were made that led to their 'cancelling' but I think we can learn something by looking at the most extreme examples of cancel culture. It's an incredibly final reaction/response to something we don't like hearing and I think that's what we're seeing more of in our day to day lives.
And yes, I think you're right about workplaces. They absolutely should be places we can have those conversations but we're definitely not there yet, are we? At least not in my experience. I read something today about whether 'being the nice person at work can help or harm your career'... sadly, I think there are some work cultures where being 'nice' stunts your progression. The study (by Georgetown University) found that kind people came out top in certain categories. Those categories, though, in my opinion fall into the 'emotional labour' category. It's a leadership skill that is so often overlooked in workplaces. The categories where those kind people excelled, according to the study are 'being sought out for advice from colleagues', 'being perceived to be a leader' and 'overall job performance.' It's interesting, I think it's so dependent on the people at the top and the culture of the individual workplace.
This is all really interesting and much along the themes I intend to interegate further, although probably in a seperate piece. It's much what I'm grappling with and I feel like this conversation is helping to link some of my thoughts which I thought were seperate(ish) issues, but are infact deeply entwined. Do you happen to have a reference for that study?
Not a reference to the study but I read it here: https://www.instagram.com/p/CoxftJ2u9LF/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y%3D
Comments are interesting on Arthur's post also. Someone saying we should differentiate between 'nice' and 'kind'.... there's definitely a lot to explore! Looking forward to reading your interrogation into the subject x
Thanks, I'll check it out. I should probably start writing the first one before I do cos no doubt I'll go down some rabbit holes with this!
Oh Gosh...I'm already in deep in the comments...boundaries!!! My weakest point and why I'm where I am!